I'm not your average blogger - I dont update you daily, weekly, monthly or within any time span for that matter. The only reason why I created a blogspot is because I have no "bestie" I could confide in 24/7. Even if I do, I wouldnt want to bore them with the irrelevant shenanigans of my mundane life. So take this as an all access pass to a "get-to-know-me-better" kinda session.

Well, if you follow me on my respective social media platforms, you'd get a rough description of what I'm really like. I like to keep it real online, so if I'm outspoken online, I'm more likely to be even more verbal in real life.

Then again, you'd need to meet me in real life to experience first-hand what I'm really like, then you'd realize why I don't really "hang" with a fixed group of people.

From stuff that has been happening for the past months (some I never mentioned online) I feel there's something you guys really need to know about me before you pass judgement.

I suffer from mild bipolarity. And no, it's nothing like depression. As a matter of fact, due to this mental state, I label "depression" as a stranger because it's done me nothing but the opposite. And claiming I'm bipolar, doesnt mean I crave for endless attention the same way a depressed suicidal dimwit would. I have an alter-ego, and he has named himself Jimmy. (or Saint Jimmy).. There was a point in life where I live eat breathe drink sleep worship Greenday, I still do actually. So subconsciously, I created this character within me. Jimmy is not that little voice in my head that goes you can do it,  or, tomorrow will be a better day. Those are purely MY thoughts. Jimmy would NEVER say those things.

Jimmy, is a burden, yet a blessing. He's that perfect friend we all crave for. He's the one that speaks the truth, the one that thrives under pressure, the one that simply doesnt give two shits for the shit you've been through. If you were having a bad day, I'd say stuff like tell me what happened, it'll be okay, you're stronger than this. Jimmy on good days will just nod with compliance. On a regular day, Jimmy answers you back with your life your problem, bitch go find your balls, it's over move on. On any other day, Jimmy will flick you off without a care in the world.

Jimmy is that friend that motivates you in his own way, may it be unorthodox, but it always does the trick. A strict father if you may. He knows what should be done, but he doesnt serve it on a silver platter. He makes sure you learn from your mistake by making you go through it again and again until you get it right. He's the friend that'll trip you over until you learn how to break your fall, or just simply not get tripped. For that, I have to say that Jimmy really did help me grow over the years. He was the one who put me through worthless amount of pain and misery, just so that I'd be numb to the pains that the world had to offer. Hence, being oblivious to feelings.

I have no control over Jimmy. He does what he wants, he says what he wants, and he'll always get what he wants one way or another. That's the only problem I have with him. Whenever emotions get involved in my day to day repertoire, he'll be that voice again saying all or nothing. YOLO if you may, or LLTTF as I would prefer it to be. He has overdriven me against my own will. He'll get himself into a complicated situation, and desert me to face it alone. He's just that bastard of a guy. Smokes a doobie with you, gets high, shares the laughter and joy, but when five-0 comes along, he vanishes like the smoke you exhale.

Another problem I have with Jimmy is that he's always in the way of my relationships. I've already set my foot into believing THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECT GIRL. But whenever someone steals my heart, he'll have his own say and just pull me away from her. Again, he's that friend that says she's no good for you, dont waste your time, you'll find better ones. Honestly, I don't care! If I want to stay with someone being as flawed as they are, I'm willing to face the consequences. And thats one thing Jimmy has been avoiding all this while. He doesnt believe in second chances or sloppy seconds.

Jimmy's philosophy on relationships:
-"Relationships are supposed to be fun, but if they make it hard for you, leave their asses."
-"She treats you like other guys? Treat other girls the same."
-"She cheated on you? Cheat on her, TWICE!"
-"Friendzoned? It's either you have her on booty dial or not."

Jimmy sets the bar high for girls who would eventually play an important role in my life. But once he sees them as dead weight, out the window they go. No other debate is as great as the ones I have with Jimmy.

Metaphorically, he's pressing a knife up against my Adam's apple as I write this. But then again, I enjoy telling you guys about Jimmy.

He's that friend we despise having around, but he gets shit done for when we dont have the balls to.

He's the reason why I never slit my wrists anymore, and he gave me a phobia of heights.

He's the only refuge I seek whenever I have the urge to act upon something.

He's the Stifler to every American Pie movie.

He's the brother I never had.

He's me.

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