So I skipped the 3rd week because I convinced myself I shouldn't be hung up about it. I convinced myself I'd get over it if I just let it go and continue on with my life. I convinced myself that I'm bigger than this and I need not to spill my feelings. I convinced myself I was fine, am fine and am going to be fine.

Oh how wrong I was.

It was during the 3rd week, it came - the inevitable breakdown. I was alone at emonight, there was no one around me. I cried alone at the table just wishing someone would hold me, but that would've just made me cry even more. But I was alone, and any company would've sufficed. I was so lonely.

Well I told myself I'd give it a month and I'll probably message her again and see where I stood to see if I should give it another try. I gave myself time to break down and fix myself. Well today is that day. Officially one month since the break up and how am I feeling? Sad.

Sad not because I'm single.... Sad just because I know that I don;t deserve her and I shouldn't have to bother about bringing her back into my life because I really can't give anything more. They said if you love someone so much you'd be willing to give everything and more for that person, and too be honest I have no regrets in that department because I've already given my all. That too is another reason why I'm sad. My all has never been and probably will never be enough for her or for anyone for that matter. I'm still stuck in this pit.

I'm just too sad to write anything more because I'm all out of words and the only thing for me to do now is to move forward and get over this like any other human beings should.

This is probably the last time I'll write about her and I still havent gotten any proper closure so let me just say it here and hope she sees this one day.

I pray that you move onto bigger and better things in life because you deserve nothing short of the world. You deserve a guy who loves you unconditionally and someone who'll drop everything he has on his plate in an instant to attend to your needs. Someone who will give you memories to talk about everyday, someone who will guide you to Jannah, someone who will take care of you, someone who will fulfill your needs and make your dreams a reality. I wish it could've been me, but thank you for giving me a chance.

I'm sorry for everything I did and didn't do.

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