It's all over now baby blue. Sing your announcement over the ridge and let your echoes smother every dew collected on the brown and dying sun ridden grass. It's no big deal that the soil is still very rich in nutrients, no big deal that the roots are pretty much outstretched to gather every single ounce of water available, no big deal that new patches are trying to fight their way through the mist to catch a glimpse of the sun's rays.

It doesn't really matter what you do if there are no results right there in peoples' faces because no one gives two shit about the process that's needed to produce result. Effort is futile when any other Tom, Dick and Harry can produce the same results with a snap of their fingers.

I'm exhausted from trying to prove people wrong because they still choose to see what they believe in. I've always had a love-hate relationship with feeling this way because on some days, I make it my absolute life mission to prove people wrong and shove it down their throats, and on other days I choose to not waste the little energy I have left and just brush it off like water off a duck's back. This weekend has definitely drawn the line for me on what I should do when I feel like this.

Something which I've learnt over the past year, but still fail to follow up on it, is to stop putting my faith and happiness on people. May it be a single entity, or even a group of friends -  nobody should have access to the rights of whether I sleep happy or even carry on life as per normal. That should be something that only I have the power to.

Honestly, writing this is already wasting too much time and energy. I don't even feel the need to rant but I think I might actually lose what's left of my sanity if I keep it in and I'm still very wary of opening up to people so I still keep stuff to myself so there's that.

At this very point, I'm very lazy to continue and I shall continue zombie-ing through my edits because right now, work is top priority, right above family. Funnily, I thought I saw hope for a change in my life's direction, but I guess once I again i was too hasty with my decisions and I should always wait things out. If i miss the opportunity to seize anything, it's not because I never tried, it's because whatever "it" is wasn't patient enough for me so I shouldn't be sorry for who I am.

Funny how I started this off with words trying to explain how I feel but it ended up as an impractical synonym.

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